Permanent
by T.S. Nuit
Summary: I like to think of life as a pen and paper. When you make a mistake you can't take it back. The only thing you can do is scribble it out, and hope that it won't look bad. That is why I write in my notebooks. So that when my little sister grows up she won't always think that she is just the girl whose mother died giving birth, but also the good times. But I make mistakes to.


**Author's Note: Well this is another one of my stories. If you have read my other two stories 'Love Drunk' or 'Thicker then Blood' I know it has been a while, but this story has been swimming around my mind for a while. Well you know the drill. Review…follow…favorite! Thanks guys!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah…I'm not her! If I was I would make a separate book for Paul or at least make him the main character!**

Permanent 

**1.**

I glance up at Hope, Claire, and Quil playing in a little sand hole. I pick up my camera. I focus the picture. With just a little snap that one happy moment for Hope is saved. I smile as I check to make sure the time and date is right.

"What do you write in that notebook of yours?"

My spin shoots straight up. My hand slams the notebook shut hiding my secrets. I don't look up at the owner of the voice. My hands fumble as I try to direct the pen into the coil part of the notebook. I take a deep breath in and I look up, but my eyes just stopping at his chin since the sun is setting right behind him.

"Nothing." I say coolly.

His hand darts over to my lap where the notebook is resting. I yank it back out of his reach.

He chuckles. "For it to be nothing, you sure are protective of it" He says.

I let out an exasperated sigh. "What do you want Paul?"

"Who says I want anything." He counters back.

I roll my eyes and stand up. "I don't have time for this; I have to get back home before my dad does."

I walk over to Hope and Claire my notebook in my hands and the camera is around my wrist by a strap. I walk closer. Hope turns and sees me. She stands up quickly, but loses her balance and face plants into their sand castle. A muffled cry comes from Hope and an angry cry comes from Claire. I run over quickly to Hope. I pull her in my arms. I tug on the sleeve of my jacket and wipe the sand out of her eyes.

"Hope, its okay." I say and rock back and forth.

My hand runs through her dark thick hair brushing out the sand. Hope digs her head into the curve of my neck. I look over at Quil and Claire who are already making a new one.

"Sorry about your castle, guys."

"It is okay Naomi; do you need a ride home?" Quil asks.

"No we are good thanks though. Will Claire be with Emily tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

I smile and wave good bye to them. I walk down the rocky road until the little house with the droopy roof and loose hinges come into view. I climb the three creaky stairs and set down Hope. I dig for the house keys. I pull the keys out of my pocket and unlatch the door. I push it open.

"Alright Hope go to the bathroom. I will be there in a minute." I say.

Hope skips to the bathroom. I turn to the counter and drop my keys, notebook, and camera. I kick off my flip flops and head to the bathroom. I turn on the hot and cold water making a nice mixture of warm. Once it wasn't even half way full I turn of the water.

I smile at Hope as I hand her the purple bath duck. Her green eyes light up and she dunks it into the water while giggling. I reach for the plastic cup, fill it with water and dump it over her head. She shakes her head and looks at me wide eyed. I let out a laugh.

"Nano!" She says and hits the water with open hands.

I gasp and blink. "What did you say?" I ask.

"Nano!" She repeats.

"You mean Naomi?" I ask trying to understand what she means.

"Nano!" She squeals again.

A smile breaks through my lips. Her first word is my name. Or a version of it, I look at my wrist watch. At 5:14 she said her first word. I hurry to finish Hope's bath so I could right this down in my notebook. I drain the bath water and watch as she plays with the drain plug.

I pick up her slippery wet chubby body and wrap her in a towel. I dry off the little hair that she has making sure all of the sand is out then I start on her body. I pick her up and take her to our room. I pull out the pink set of pajamas and a pull up. We are almost there, but not quite yet for potty training.

Once she is dressed and her hair is brush I put her in the play pen. I walk into the kitchen and start to make dinner. About forty five minutes later dinner is on the table steaming. I put Hope in her high chair and I sat down fixing both of our plates. Right on schedule the door opens and in comes my father. He puts his brief case on the counter next to my notebook and camera.

"Dinner is ready." I say and I blow on Hope's food.

My father just grunts in response and grabs a plate. He slaps a blob of food on his plate then went to the fridge and grabs a beer. He starts to walk to the living room.

"Hope said her first word today." I say.

He just grunts and keeps walking. I sigh and turn to see Hope and I start to spoon feed her. Once she is full I start on my dinner. As I shovel food in my mouth I think about my day. For once everything has been peaceful and the best part is that Hope said her first word. I smile and shove my plate that isn't even close to being done. I jump up and walk to the counter quickly writing down the Hope said her first word on January 21, 2013 at 5:14 p.m. I shut the notebook and walk back over to Hope. I pick her up and take her to my room.

"Let's go to the bathroom before you go to bed." I tell Hope and I help her to the bathroom.

Once she used the restroom, washed her hands, and brushes her teeth she is in the crib slowly drifting to sleep. I smile and tuck her in. I walk out of the room and slowly shut the door. I go to the kitchen and start putting the leftover food into plastic bowls with matching lids and washing the dishes. I start to wipe down the table when the TV clicks off. My eyebrows push together in confusion. The old scratched up floor boards moan and groan under his feet as he gets closer.

I tense and walk stiffly over to the kitchen to squeeze out all of the extra water. I slowly fold the washcloth and hang it over the faucet to dry. The footsteps get closer and they stop behind me. I don't dare move as his arm reaches past me and drops the empty plate and the fork into the fork. They clatter against the metal sink and I flinch against the noise. My father grunts and starts to walk away. In the distance I can hear the fait cry of Hope. I guess he woke her up from the loud noise. I start to dry off my hands and make my way to her.

"Nancy! Make her shut up! I have to be at the office early tomorrow!" My father yells at me.

At least he got the 'n' part of my name right. Last week he called me 'Carmen'. I sigh and walk faster to my small bedroom.

"Yes sir." I say when I pass him in the living room.

I open my bedroom window and the cries get louder. I rush over to the crib and pick Hope up while a cover her with the small blanket. I quickly check her diaper to see if it was wet, and we are in the clear. I start to bounce slightly on the balls of my feet and pat her on the back.

"You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away!" I sing softly to Hope.

Her cries stop and she begins to sniff. I bring her down off my shoulder, and I cradle her in my arms. I smile down at her, she returns me with a toothless little smile.

"You are my sunshine, Hope." I whisper to her.

She just stretches in my arms and gives me a cute little yawn. Her dark blue eyes flutter from her sleepiness. I walk back over to her crib and set her down. I rearrange the small pink blanket so it covers her small fist and little feet. I walk over to my small nightstand table and flick on the lamp. A light glow illuminates the room and I quickly change into some old stained sweats from Hope's throwing food stage and a tank top.

I silently sneak out of my room and down the hall making sure to step over the squeaky boards. I tip toe into the kitchen and swipe my camera, keys, and notebook off the counter and quickly rush to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I rinse off the tooth brush and I pick up my things and escape to my room.

With one last glance at Hope I crawl into bed and I pull the covers over my legs. I place my camera and keys on the small bed side table and prop my knees up to use a table to write in my notebook. I pull the pen out of the side of the notebook and pop off the top.

_1-23-12_

_Hope said her first word today. I am really glad that she did, because before that she has only made 'baby babbles' sounds. What is ever better is that it was my name! I wish mom was here though. She would love Hope as much as I do. _

I look up from the notebook and I lean my head back against the head board of my bed. I close my eyes as I feel the familiar tightness of my heart when I think about my mother. I breathe in and out until it passes and I can finally breathe normally. I lean up and I look over at Hope. Between the spaces of the bar I can see her eyes close and her soft squeaky snores. I smile and close the notebook putting the pen in the coil part of it. I place it next to the keys and camera and flick off the lamp. Hope is the last thing I see like every other night for two years before I go to bed.


End file.
